Team Building with the Thunder God Tribe
by LaxusPlayer
Summary: Laxus and the gang head off on 'extreme team building exercises' in a luxury hotel, but you can never really escape Fairy Tail. Expect homicidal women, deadly hangovers and hopeless heros.


Team Building with the Thunder God Tribe

_A/N: So a couple of people suggested that I do a bit more about the Thunder God Tribe and Laxus. This makes pretty good sense since they are his team and his best friends, so if anything I'm surprised I haven't done a fic before about them. Expect drinking, lots of looking after Freed and even a couple of ships sailing. Thoughts are in italics and enjoy reading this :)_

"A hundred jewel says he messes this up."

"Nah Bickslow, a hundred jewel on her slapping him and running off crying."

"Guys...its clear that he's going to get confused and come back to Master Laxus for guidance."

The Thunder God Tribe had been discussing the Natsu and Lucy situation for five minutes now. After returning from their quest and recovering from their mental scarring, Natsu and Gajeel had started talking more and more to the Thunder God. This talking ultimately led to Natsu being convinced to finally ask Lucy out on a proper date (yeah they had to explain that to him) and thus the current situation was born.

"That idiot better make a move soon," Laxus grumbled, "otherwise I'm going to go over there and beat one out of him."

You see, Natsu had started off really well. He'd gone over and talked to the celestial wizard, but when it came time to tell her how he felt he just kind of froze up. After five minutes of awkward silence the fire dragon slayer was still sitting there, building up his courage and steeling his nerves. To give her credit, Lucy was still waiting there, although she was pretty sure that he'd been hit by some sort of paralysis magic, meaning that she had to fend off Gray or Happy from drawing on his face or messing up his clothes.

"See he froze!" Bickslow announced triumphantly, "Guess I was right after all."

As the other two pulled money out of their pockets to pay him, Laxus decided to get in on the bet. "A hundred jewels on him getting the girl."

The rest of his tribe looked at him. "Not that I don't mind taking money of someone, but in your case I'll give you a chance to reconsider."

Laxus grinned. "Fine, make it a thousand jewels."

A chorus of "Ohhhh" came from the three followed by "Ok, it's on." Fortunately they didn't have to wait long to find out the result.

"Erm Lucy..." Natsu finally managed to spit out, "I have something to...erm...tell you..."

Lucy let out a sigh of relief. Her friend wasn't paralysed, he was just stupid. "What is it Natsu? Have you finally worked out how to go to the toilet?"

"No, no I haven't yet..." Natsu dismissed her, "Lucy I'm just going to say it before I chicken out. I really like you. Now I'm still not sure what this crush thing is but apparently I have one on you."

Lucy was stunned. "N-n-natsu I...wait, Gray did you set this up?!"

The ice mage simply shook is head. "Lucy there is no way in hell I could plan this much failure."

Ignoring the insult since he didn't get it, Natsu continued, "So since I have this crush thing, Laxus told me that I had to ask you on a date where we could hold hands, eat ice cream...erm...eat ice cream some more..."

Lucy stood up and glowered at Laxus. He simply returned her hatred with a thumbs up and a wink.

"Will you go on a date with me then Lucy?" Natsu asked hopefully.

"GAAAH Natsu you don't know what you're saying! You don't even know what a date is so how can we go on one?!" She was still convinced this was a set up. "_Any moment now Cana or Levi is going to pop out and tell me its all a joke. I mean he can't actually want that can he?_"

He could. Standing up, the pink haired mage took her by the hands and looked into her eyes. "Look all these words and date things are really confusing me, but I really do like you Lucy! Like more than anyone else I know." Unwrapping his scarf, he put it round her neck. "This scarf is the only thing I have left from Igneel. Even if you don't like me back, I want you to have it."

As he stepped away with a downtrodden expression, it hit Lucy that he was not only being serious, but he had just given her his most prized possession. The Thunder God Tribe sat stunned at his surprisingly romantic actions and speech. Laxus laughed.

"I knew the idiot would figure out a way to tell her."

Mira approached them and sat down on the chair next to Laxus. "So has he...?"

"Yep."

"Ohhhh." She smiled. "Now kiss..."

They did just that. Well Lucy kissed Natsu. Natsu just kind of stood there not knowing what was going on. When the kiss was over, they broke away smiling.

"Whatever that was, can we do it some more?"

Lucy blushed. "Yes Natsu, yes you can."

Gray groaned. "Ahh now I have to put up with this on our quests. Damn I need to get a girlfriend now to balance it out." That sentence made Juvia squeal in excitement. "_Master Gray needs me in his life! He all but admitted it! This is the happiest day of my life!_"

Getting back to the new couple, Natsu was smiling sheepishly. "So are we...dating now? Is this what dating is?"

"Yeah Natsu, this is dating."

He giggled. "He he he. I like dating."

"Yeah and I like my money." Laxus quipped, extending his arm out. "Cough it up losers."

Grumbling they complied with their team leader. "I swear to god he can see the fucking future..."

Mira meanwhile was squealing in delight. "Yes! My shipping wall can now be filled up a bit more! I better go...oh wait before I go, here are the tickets Laxus."

She practically threw the cards at his face and then sprinted off to expand her wall. Yeah it actually existed. Don't judge her...

"What tickets are they for Master?" Freed asked, eyeing the tickets suspiciously. Usually tickets meant Laxus was going away and usually the other person he went with wasn't him. Being a full time stalker was pretty hard when you're target was in an unknown location and usually surrounded by at least five women.

"Well the secrets out I guess. We're going on a holiday together for...team building exercises or some shit."

Bickslow was thrilled. "Awesome! So where are we going off to?"

"There's a little island off the coast of Magnolia that has really cheap beer and wom-...I mean, it's got plenty of challenges for us to overcome."

"I see." Evergreen said, straightening her glasses. "So that's how you coaxed Makarov into paying for this?"

Laxus smirked. "Did you expect me to pay?! You guys are cool but I'm not that attached to you."

Freed was too busy orgasming over how Laxus thought he was 'cool' to reply, so Bickslow went ahead and took another shot. "So how long are we going for and when do we leave?"

The Thunder God patted him on the back. "Now that's the spirit Bickslow! I knew you'd be ready to party hard..." Makarov glanced over at him from across the room, "...after we finish these super hard challenges. We're going for two days, and we leave tonight at seven. Just pack a toothbrush, some clothes and a couple of crates."

Ever frowned. "But I thought they had beer on the islands?"

"We know, that's why we need the crates." They high fived and snapped Freed out of his dreaming.

"Should I bring a crate too?" He asked, but was just met by smiles and shaking heads. "Oh good then because I have no idea what are in these creates."

Ever looked at him. "We'll tell you when you're older honey."

His mind went into over drive. "Hey I'm older than yo-...oh condoms." Sarcastic applause was his reward for that answer. "But hang on, its half six now!"

They all looked at the clock and realised that they had next to no time to get ready. Laxus, the master of quick thinking, acted accordingly. "Ok so we meet back here in half an hour. Be ready."

-At seven-

For a change everyone was on time and with all their stuff. Clearly they where psyched for their 'intense training' and 'team building' trip. As usual Freed had packed pretty much everything in his room into his suitcase, while the others had tiny bags containing the bare minimum.

"So are you guys going now then?" asked Mira, appearing behind the group.

Bickslow chuckled. "Yeah we are. This team building is going to be *laugh* so hard. Or at least it will be for me and Laxus, right mate?" Laxus just laughed in agreement. Instead of explaining it to the confused Mira, Bickslow just took out one of his crates from his bag and showed it to her. She flushed scarlet and looked away.

"Oh...I see...Well you guys have fun then. You too Ever and Freed."

The other two smiled at her and began walking towards the door with Bickslow. Laxus however remained rooted to the spot.

"Is something wrong Laxus?" she asked innocently.

"Yeah there is," he said, smirking, "You never said a proper goodbye to me."

As he opened his arms, she had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

"I'm not standing like this as a fashion statement Mira, so come here and hug me already."

"_Yep, this is a dream._" she thought, but shrugged and walked towards him. "_Oh well, I may as well enjoy it while I'm here._" Embracing him, she nuzzled into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her back. It was only brief, however, and once she broke it off he walked out of the guild to catch up with his friends.

"Hey what the hell?!" Elfman roared, "Mira did Laxus just hug you?!"

"So what if he did muscle man?" Cana shouted back, defending her speechless friend.

"I thought he was fucking you though?" he called back, making her blush. Her blush deepened when someone else, Macao to be exact, added "Yeah well who hasn't?". This was met with cheers of "WAAAAAY!", which were soon silenced when a voice calmly stated "I haven't." As they all turned to face the glowering Gildarts, it became apparent that on a "how fucked are we" scale of 1-10, they were rocking 11. On the plus side, when the beatings started Mira snapped out of her daze.

"_...wait, I wasn't dreaming?!_"

-At the 'training camp'-

"Oh I assure you, the Jewel of Magnolia is the highest ranking hotel in all of Fiore." the receptionist explained with a smile. "Full indoor and outdoor facilities, several bars and clubs and a casino all within the complex. Please enjoy your stay while you are here."

With that speech over, the four took their keys and headed to the room. You'd have thought they would have been tired after flying for an hour and a half, but being the Thunder God Tribe, they didn't have time to be sleepy. Especially when partying was to be done. As they walked past the hundreds of rooms the hotel had, they began wondering who would be bunking with who. They were all wrong.

"S-so we're all sleeping together in the same room?!" Bickslow stuttered out.

"But I'm a girl! I can't sleep in the same room as you guys, you may peek at me."

"Ahh cheer up you two," Freed said, grabbing his friends on their shoulders, "At least we don't have to leave Master Laxus at any time now. Besides, it's not like it's anything we haven't already seen."

As Laxus opened the door and carried his stuff through, Ever finally registered what happened. "HOLY SHIT, I GOT BURNED BY FREED!"

Upon entering the room, their minds were put somewhat at rest. It was not only huge, but it had for separate beds with separate wardrobes and draws. Looking around even more, they discovered there were two separate bathrooms, a balcony and a small seating area with a lacrima television. All in all it was a pretty good set up they had there, despite them being forced to sleep within snoring range of Bickslow.

"Welcome to you new home for the next few days." Laxus announced, spreading his arms out and gesturing to the top notch accommodation, "The bed next to the window is mine, but feel free to choose which beds you want."

Freed obviously picked the one next to Laxus and Ever picked the one closest to the door so she would have the easiest time sneaking out, meaning that Bickslow was left with the one in the corner. As soon as they threw their bags down, they headed to the door and prepared themselves for a wild night at the bar.

"Hey Laxus?" Bickslow nudged the taller man, "I bet I can get laid before you."

The Thunder God smirked. "For five hundred jewels you're on." They shook on it and headed down to the bar.

"This was way more fun when I was single..." Ever grumbled then grabbed hold of Freed. "Weirdo you're coming with me. I'm going to get hammered and you're going to make sure nobody hits on me." As she dragged him down the hallway he could only nod in agreement.

-One epic night later-

Laxus woke fairly early the next morning with a pounding headache and five hundred jewels in his back pocket. He tried to sit up, but he stopped when he felt resistance on his arm. Looking down, the S-Class mage noticed that there was a beautiful and very naked model in the bed next to him who was cuddling his arm.

"Jenny, is that you?" The blonde opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"Morning stud." she giggled, "Are you a bit...stiff from last night?"

He smirked, his memories coming back to him. "If anyone is going to be stiff from last night its going to be you I think." She blushed and giggled again, then slid her hand down under the sheets.

"Mmm well it looks like someone might be a bit stiff now..." Before she could help him out, however, Ever groaned.

"Oh god give it a rest you two! You kept me up all last night with your moaning and I need to get at least some sleep." Bickslow stuck a thumbs up in agreement then went back to sleep between two fairly attractive women.

Laxus shrugged. "Sorry but the ride is over." The Blue Pegasus model looked very disappointed, but complied with his wishes. Putting on her clothes, she walked out the door and waved her 'stud' goodbye. Said 'stud' put his head back on his pillow and sighed. "Was she really that loud guys?"

His answer came in the form of a crying Freed who was curled up in the corner. "How can such a small woman make so much noise..." "_Day one and he's already scarred. Guess Ever owes me a couple of hundred jewels for that bet._"

The group lay in bed for another hour (except Freed who continued rocking in his corner) before sighing in defeat and getting up. They were all pretty much zombified, so progress was slow on the getting ready and going out again front. It was made even slower when Bickslow decided that he was up for round two with the two women he picked up at the bar. The noises sent Freed into a relapse.

"Yeah I'll write to you both." Bickslow waved as he said goodbye to his two new friends. As soon as the door shut he added "When I see you in hell."

"Guys I need to make a call." Ever stated before hurrying out of the room, "I'll be back later. Make sure you feed Freed."

Bickslow and Laxus looked at each other. "Elfman."

Ever practically ran down the corridor. She'd promised to call her boyfriend the night before, but after she found out that there was a sale on shots...well lets just say she couldn't find the phone much less work it. That experience was another chip away at Freed's sanity.

"_God I hope he's not too mad..._" she though as she picked up and dialled the phone. Surprisingly it was Cana who answered.

"Erm Cana...hey. I was expecting Mira to..."

"Yeah now's not a good time Ever..." she said, a nervous tint in her voice.

"Why what's up?"

There was a crash on the other end of the phone followed by the dying screams of certain guild members. "JUST CALL BACK LATER WH-..."

The phone cut out and Ever was left stunned and holding the phone. Slowly putting it down, she narrowed down the possibilities of who had snapped to Gildarts, Elfman, Mira or Erza. For once she was hoping Elfman was the one who lost it.

"Well that seemed odd." came a voice and Ever turned to see her three male companions sticking their heads out from behind a nearby pillar.

"WHY THE HELL WERE YOU LISTENING TO MY CONVERSATION?!" she roared, and Laxus stepped back and allowed his two friends to take one hell of a beating.

-One painful occurrence later-

"Damn and I though I was good with my hands..." moaned Laxus, enjoying his back massage greatly. "This team building exercise was the best idea I've ever had."

"Agreed." Ever cooed, practically euphoric from her foot massage.

"Mph nrrrgg." groaned the other two, loving their head massages. They still couldn't speak after their beating, but the bits that weren't bruised or in pain were being skilfully stroked and rubbed. The masseurs were a bit concerned when Freed and Bickslow were dragged, bloodied and bruised, into the spa, but once they got the all clear from Laxus they just gave up and did their job. Most people knew of the insane mage these days and why messing with him would me the last mistake you could ever make.

A small man popped around the corner suddenly. "Miss Evergreen?" The fairy wizard looked up. "There's a phone call for you from someone called Cana."

Reluctantly she got up and wrapped a towel around herself before heading to the phone. Laxus would have followed her but there was no way he was missing a second of this massage.

"Are you ok Cana? I heard a lot of screaming before..."

"Yeah its calmed down now." came her reply. Cana sounded absolutely exhausted.

"What the hell happened?"

"Jenny's model friend called earlier and told Mira that she'd been up all night with Laxus, so Mira flipped and started killing people." she explained, "The Guild Hall is going to need some serious repairs, as well as Macao and a few others. By the way did that actually happen?"

Ever shuddered at the memory. "Sadly yes. I barely slept because of the noise." She could practically feel Cana cringe at the other end of the phone. "Wait...Mira isn't..."

There was a brief kerfuffle at the other end of the phone. "Hello Ever its Mira. So what exactly happened last night?"

"_Yeah I should have just lied._" "Well, erm...oh wow is that someone calling me? I better go now but I'll..."

"I know your room number." She could practically hear the crazy in Mira's voice.

"Laxus slept with Jenny!" she blurted out then clamped her hands over her mouth. The silence on the other end of the phone was unnerving.

"Ever, pass me over to Laxus." Her voice was unnaturally calm.

"But he's..."

"Don't make me wait now Evergreen."

Despite being hundreds of miles away in a relatively safe location, Ever was under no illusions that she would be safe from the Demon's wrath.

"L-Laxus?" she stuttered, peaking her head around the door. "Your girlfriend is on the phone."

The Thunder God looked confused. "I don't have a girlfriend though. Oh god...if this is the girl from the station calling, tell her I'm dead. Bitch be cray cray."

"No, no its Mira. She wants to talk to you."

He sighed then got to his feet. "Fine." Unlike Ever he didn't pick up a towel, which attracted a lot of attention as he made his way to the phone. "Missing me already are you?"

Faces were palmed either side of the phone by Cana and Ever respectively. "_Probably should've given Captain Obvious some prior warning..._"

"Laxus, there are some horrible rumours going around about you sleeping with Jenny. I was just calling you to inform you of these ridiculous..."

"Nah man they're not rumours; that actually happened." Ever could feel the anger radiating through the phone, but Laxus was oblivious as always. "I have to say Mira you're friends an animal! She kept howling and riding, howling and riding..."

"That's good to know Laxus." Mira shouted then stormed off, throwing the phone at her friend.

"Erm Mira? Helloooo...? Anyone there?"

"You know, you're a real arsehole sometimes Laxus." came Cana's voice. The dragon slayer just stared at the phone in confusion and handed it to Ever before walking back into the spa.

"Sorry about that Cana," Ever said, putting the phone to her ear, "I don't think he realises exactly what's going on when it comes to Mira."

Cana sighed. "Yeah I know I know. Anyway what did you really call for. Check up on Elfman?"

Ever blushed. "That was so not why I...I mean how could you even...yeah." She hung her head defeated, seeing the alcoholic's smug face in her head.

"Well despite the beating he took last night he's fine. I'll tell him you were asking after him ok?"

"No don't say it like tha-..." the phone cut off and Ever cried out in frustration.

"Ever and Elfman sitting in a tree..." The song reached her ears and she stormed round to find Bickslow crooning it. Her face made the beating well worth it.

-A few hours later-

Once again the Thunder God Tribe had returned to the bar. After several beatings for numerous offences, Bickslow and Freed (who was beaten up purely for being there) had finally calmed down. Ever was still kind of pissed, but not not the point of violence, and Laxus hadn't even said a word besides "ok" and "sure". What started out as a fun 'group bonding' trip away ended up as an awkward collection of misfits sitting at a bar.

"The hell did I say?" Laxus finally said, breaking the silence.

"Why do you care? You're world renowned as the man who doesn't give a fuck. People have spent years of their lives and billions of jewels trying to find the one fuck you hid in Fiore."

Laxus rolled his eyes. "Ever just help me out here. I have no idea what I did wrong and for some reason I feel like shit."

Ever smiled at him. "That's called regret honey. Humans feel it."

"Well whatever it is I don't like it. Also if you ever call me honey again I'll throw you through a beehive. While you're there you can taste what real honey is while they devour your body."

"Ohh someone's touchy!" Bickslow teased, the pain coursing through his body subsiding momentarily. "Is Laxy in love?"

"Your foolishness has gone on long enough!" Freed cried, standing up from his chairs. "You both fail to realise that Master Laxus is beyond such petty emotions. Soon he will also transcend his petty desires of the flesh too and become a true god!"

They all looked at Freed, who simply sat down again. He was used to having his blind faith mocked by his friends, so he'd just taken to sitting quietly after his outbursts.

"Well thank you Freed for your...touching devotion to me but I think they might be..."

The lightening magician was interrupted by a large crashing sound. The group spun round to find that a small man had just been thrown threw a wall, causing many people to scream and run in fear.

"The hell is going on?!" Bickslow yelled, but his answer came before anyone could reply. Two large men stepped through the hole and looked around. Seeing the fleeing crowd, they opened fire with a barrage of magic attacks.

"Oh hell the fuck no." Laxus growled before shooting towards them in his lightening form. The men had counted on defenceless civilians. They did not count on a temperamental monster. He took them both out with one punch and then scanned the building for magic signals. There were several more on various levels. "Right, team, listen up. We need to get these people to safety before we can start kicking ass. You there!" He pointed to the cowering barman. "Where is the rally point in case of emergency?"

"T-t-t-there's a r-rally point in t-the garden!" He stuttered out before returning to his hiding place.

Freed looked outside. "They'll be sitting ducks out there."

"Not if we can help it." Laxus replied. "Right then; Freed, Evergreen, you two go outside and protect the people in that garden. Set up some runes for protection and maybe add some more decorations to the garden if those freaks try anything else." The two nodded and jumped out the window. "Bickslow, I need you to use your doll magic to scout out the building for anyone trapped in rooms, under rubble or wherever. Oh and don't bother holding back if you get into trouble; those arseholes caused the barman to spill the last bottle of whisky."

"Got it boss. I'll also see if I can get some info out of them." He rushed out of the room, taking possession of some souvenirs scattered around to use as dolls.

Laxus cracked his knuckles. "Guess I'll go pay their boss a beating."

Taking the Gildarts look on life, Laxus flew through the walls until he found the largest mass of magical energy. He could see why it would cause problem for the regular holiday maker, but to him it was almost laughable.

"Now if everyone just hands over your jewel and follows orders, everything is going to be rosy." The stocky leader said to his mass of hostages before jumping in shock as the wall nearby him came tumbling down.

"The only thing that's going to be rosy is your men once I'm done wiping the floor with them." The Thunder God growled and released some magic energy as a threat.

"A-attack!" Screamed the leader and his lackeys complied. It took Laxus all of two seconds to destroy them.

"Hey its Laxus from Fairy Tail!" Some of the hostages cheered, regaining hope and standing up. The leader of the attackers however was somewhat less enthusiastic.

"H-hey there, Mr Thunder God Sir. Funny joke, this whole robbery thing. Right?" He managed out with a hopeful smile on his face.

The blonde floored him with a single punch. "Hilarious." He turned to the people who had been stuck in the lobby. "There's a safe place in the garden you can go to. I'd highly recommend you stayed the hell out of my way. Cleaning up scum is sometimes..." he grinned, "...messy."

The next half an hour consisted of Laxus and Bickslow systematically beating the crap out of every would-be robber as they worked their way around the building. The few holiday members that were rescued by them got front row seats to the onslaught, and by the end of the night the hotel was completely clear.

"Nice statues you got here." Bickslow joked as they led the citizens into the garden. They could see the rest of the people from the hotel inside Freed's runes looking rather frightened. "Its ok everyone." He announced, "The hotel is safe again!"

The crowd cheered and the Thunder God Tribe shared a smile. "_I guess this was a team building exercise after all..._"

-The night after-

"Come back any time you want!" The manager waved to the quartet. After the robbers had been rounded up and taken away, the hotel ruled that the the damage was too substantial for anyone to stay there another night. Every one of the two thousand three hundred and twelve guests received a refund and complimentary accommodation in another hotel that was nearby. The Tribe themselves were showered with gratitude and drinks, which meant that things really picked up for everyone. After a solid twelve hours of partying and eight hours of sleep the group finally decided to call it quits and head back to Fairy Tail.

"Well that was way more fun than I expected." Freed smiled.

"Yeah man it was awesome!" Bickslow agreed. "To quote Jason, it was 'COOOOL!'"

"Never, ever, say that again." Laxus said and the four of them laughed.

Upon arriving back at the guild, they were met by a variety of people.

"Team Building exercise was it?" Makarov growled. "Not just an excuse for a piss up now was it?"

Laxus grinned. "I have no idea what you mean Grampa. All I know is that I have some souvenirs for everyone from our...gruelling few days away."

He threw a bag of crap down and the guild members dived on it. As a gift, the four of them had been allowed to take as many gifts from the ruined hotel as they could carry. While the other three had become quite partial to their mounds, Laxus really couldn't care about a bunch of over priced snow globes.

"Hey there Laxy." Looking around Laxus spotted Jenny in the crowd. "I came back here looking for you." She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Think we could maybe slay a dragon together again."

Seeing the look in her eyes, it was really hard to take her hands off him and push her away. "That night was fun but it was a one off. You'll have to go and find someone else, but prepare yourself for the disappointment."

Jenny glared at him then stormed off, leaving him confused once again. "The fuck is wrong with everyone?! I sleep with Jenny and everyone gets pissed, then I turn her down and she gets pissed. The hell am I supposed to do to get it right?!"

"Well I thought you did a good job there." Cana came out and hugged her friend. "Although next time maybe you could get me out of the hell hole."

The others looked at her. "What do you mean hell hole?!" Ever asked nervously and was rewarded with a hulking, unconscious Elfman being thrown right into her. The others sighed.

"Mira?"

A roar blasted out from inside the Guild Hall. "I WILL DEVOUR HER SOUL!"

Cana looked at them sheepishly. "Mira."

_A/N: This took a lot of effort to write at the start but towards the end it got a lot easier. I think I'm going to do another one like this, but with Natsu, Gajeel, Jellal and a cast of tens to accompany them. The ships though; they just keep sailing. I start writing and they just appear. I can't stop them any more. Help! I hope you people enjoyed reading this, so read, review and recommend some more stuff for me to have a go at :)_


End file.
